Ananse and Okonoyere Yaa
#01 MY HUSBAND WANTS ME TO QUIT MY JOB
It's a new week and I still don't know whether I'm going to work or staying home. This is all because my husband wants me to quit my job and stay home as a house wife to take care of our 10 months old baby. He says I can go to work if I want but that will only mean we're divorcing.
A week ago, this wouldn't have been an issue. He would have been very supportive of me especially now that I have been promoted to Head of Marketing but now things aren't the same. He's no more the caring and tolerant husband I married.
We dated for 2 years before finally getting married. When I first met him, I was refusing an admission to pursue a masters degree since my work at the time did not grant study leave and I couldn't afford it without study leave. He assured me of helping me to realise my dreams if only I would allow him. He made me quit the job and virtually single handedly financed my schooling.
He is into import of vehicles. He gave me my dream wedding and everything I asked of him. Since we started dating, he's changed my car every year. I was expecting same last six months but when it didn't happen, two we ago, I bought a new Hyundai Sonata and told him he could sell the Camry I was using. He was furious I bought a car for myself. He didn't ask about how I financed it because obviously he knew. My salary has been saved ever since I started work because he provides everything I need.
The first year of of our marriage was heaven on earth. He would take me away on almost every weekend to a different place, traveling almost the entire country. It was fun. Even when I was pregnant, he would usually do most stuff around the house. He's already told me he doesn't want a house help so that was out of the equation. When I was due, my mum moved in. She stayed for three months. After she left, my cousin also came around. She helped me a lot in taking care of the house and the baby. We were more of sisters than cousins because growing up, we were the only two females in the house. She had completed school and awaiting posting for national service.
During her stay, especially on weekends, we would joke about who had actually given birth as she took care of the baby and I joined my husband in the pool after handling a few chores.
Three weeks before her departure, she told me I was the mother and not her and so would take the lead into the pool to join my husband. I was left with no choice than to take care of my angel. Within those two weeks, I believe I saw her in some compromised positions with my husband. She would wear dresses shorter than she used to and I would occasionally catch my husband starring at her. And believe me, when I say shorter dresses, I mean shorter dresses. We both loved short dresses but this was way below the belt. Sometimes as short as just covering her butt. And my husband would joke like, 'eei don't challenge my wife o.' They would go out together to get some stuff for the house and keep longer than I expected. They worked out together. I began to feel uncomfortable. But I didn't know how to handle this. I thought speaking to my cousin about it would hurt her feelings so we never spoke about it. I however, one dawn, while in the shower, asked my husband what he thought about my cousin's dressings lately. He teased me of being jealous because she had a flatter tummy than I did. He didn't take me serious but I was. That evening, I wore a short blue jeans skirt after returning from work. It was really short. My husband was already in the house. He began laughing at me and told me to change them as he was expecting some business partners who were passing by for dinner. I didn't mind him. He told me he was getting some drinks from a nearby supermarket and that he would expect me to have changed before he returned. I saluted him teasingly as he drove away. not short garments with red colored style
About five minutes after he had left, his business partners came over. My cousin was in the kitchen so I had to attend to them. It took my husband about 10 minutes after their arrival to also return. His facial expressions changed as he walked into us having a hearty talk in the hall. I was still in the skirt. I could feel he forced smiles all through the dinner.
That night, he didn't talk to me. Not even our routine night prayers or hearty chats. The morning afterwards, he didn't turn up for breakfast. He said he would eat later on. My cousin left two days later because her posting was in.
Things haven't been same since then. My work does not permit me to come to work with my baby. My husband has disagreed to us taking the baby to crèche even though I have already enrolled the baby in one. Taking a house help is out of the equation. He says my responsibility is to take care of the family. He's proposed paying me monthly the same amount I currently earn. I'm also not having that. Why can't he understand me? This is the time I really need him to understand and support me. He's been a great husband but I need him to be greater now. It's unfair him giving me a choice between work and marriage. If he had this in mind all this while, then why did he help me this far? I don't want to sound like an ingrate but he's making me sound like one. I love him and he knows it but I feel if I'm pushed too much, I will choose my job. But that's not a path I want to walk on now. Why can't he understand it's not about the money? I've called in sick but I don't know how long I can use that as an excuse. I'm really confused.